i feel like eyore. woe is me. woe is me.

i wish to be a bit more like winnie. but without getting my head stuck in the honey pot.

what i need is: balance.

i saw a great little movie with this great little quote

father, "where have you been?"

daughter, "oh, out dealing with things way beyond my maturity level."

sometimes i don't feel like an adult at all but like a little girl dealing with things way beyond my maturity. but then i think about the fact that i do not depend on myself or worldy answers but on God to show me what to do. i just need to listen.

oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh

i have a decided knack for saying the wrong thing. i am not beating myself up for the most recent incident, i have apologized and been forgiven. instead, i am just wondering why i do that. sigh. i have to learn to confront things head on! instead of letting it build up and then blurting out a smarty pants comment.

on another note, my fiance told me to warn my friends about his frats hitting on them. esp. cause my three best friends from out of town are all really pretty. but they all can hold their own! i have been very amused at the idea of one of them dealing with getting hit on at my wedding.hahahahahahahaha. i even have in my head a picture of how each of them will use their different personalites to slice those boys down to size. hehe

i hate being sick. i am miserable. more than anything else, it is the enforced seperation of myself from the rest of society. it is depressing. then i am depressed on top of being sick. i love spending time alone. i need it. but somehow, having to be alone just when i really want some company is the worst thing of all. sigh.

my adorable fiance spent the week getting ready for a two day performance so he didn't even get a chance to come see me. sigh. i'll be happy when this miserable week is over!

(don't worry too much, i just love to complain)

i am engaged! i am very happy about this. i know brides tend to gush about their intended to annoying lengths but i do believe a few words are in order.

i believe the best in him. and want the best for him. he works hard and loves to play. i will admit, he does tend to crash on sundays during football (think snoring). he has seen the worst of me and embraces me with open arms. i have seen the worst of him, i even know the worst he has done. i love him. through his troubles, admiring him for working through them. we have disagreements. even fights. sometimes he hurts my feelings. sometimes, i hurt his. we have been through a lot in the last two years but i know we will go through even more. and the best part is: we want to face the trouble together. turning to God first, leaning on each other. the future is not clear. but what is clear: i love him and will continue to do so.

when i get my ring back from resizing, i will put a picture on here. he went to the store three times with his sister and got my ring only the night before he proposed. he couldn't have done it the day of, he had too many arrangements to make since it was a total surprise. he even coordinated his proposal with the arrival of my mother on a surprise visit from out of town!

i wrote a blog but realized it cut a little too close to the bone and i decided to keep it to myself for a little while.

happy valentine's day! love to all.